Blog for
Chris Lauzon - Therapist, LICSW

Anxious attachment often changes that experience. Instead of walking the road, we find ourselves standing still, scanning the horizon for danger. We wait, and while we wait, we carry the weight. Many folks carry this weight daily, without realizing how heavy it has become. In healthy relationships, trust allows us to place our feet firmly on the country road ahead. We move forward knowing that uncertainty exists, but we continue anyway.

When a relationship ends whether you made the decision or the choice was made for you, you’re often left standing in the quiet aftermath, surrounded by emotions that feel heavy, tangled, and confusing. Grief. Loss. Sadness. Anxiety. Fear. Anger. Shame. Guilt. Not everyone experiences all of these, but most folks experience some combination, and when they do, it can feel as though they’ve been placed inside a box: a confined emotional space where movement feels restricted and

I’ve long held the opinion that when someone adds, “just kidding” or “just joking” after a comment, there is often some percentage of truth tucked within it. Not always, of course sometimes humor is just humor, play is just play. But many times, I’d estimate there’s about 40% truth living behind the curtain of the joke. Humor can be a safe doorway, a way to say something honest without risking full vulnerability. But it can also be a mask that bruises others.

When people walk into a therapy room, it’s often in response to something urgent, an emotional crisis, a relationship breakdown, burnout, or a significant drop in their overall functioning. It’s natural. Pain is a powerful motivator. But while we spend so much time focusing on how to tread water when we’re drowning, we often forget that true, sustainable growth happens not during the chaos, but during the calm. Let’s call that calm your baseline.