Blog for
Chris Lauzon - Therapist, LICSW

When we think about a healthy relationship, many of us picture closeness: shared time, shared experiences, shared goals. Partnership certainly includes those things, yet one of the most important ingredients of a truly healthy relationship is something that may seem counterintuitive at first; individual growth.

In many of my previous posts, we’ve talked about the importance of self-awareness, recognizing our needs, and learning to pause before we react. When we do this well, we give ourselves the opportunity to choose intention rather than simply operating on emotional autopilot. But, let’s be honest, even when we know the tools, certain environments can still catch us off guard. Here is a tool for this, I call it The Visual Mantra.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” is one of those phrases that sounds unquestionably wise. It’s well intended, even protective. For many people, especially those already carrying shame, self doubt, or a harsh internal dialogue it can be a helpful reminder to return attention inward. But, like most aphorisms, it becomes less helpful when we treat it as an absolute.

So much of our emotional energy gets spent managing how we are perceived: what they think, how we “come across” to others, whether we said the ‘right’ thing. It’s understandable, we’re wired for connection, but when we orient our inner world around external judgment, we slowly lose touch with ourselves. What you think about yourself matters far more than what they think about you.

Living with ADHD as an adult is often framed as a challenge, even a deficit. But what if we flipped the script? What if ADHD isn’t just something to “manage,” but a superpower to harness?