Blog for
Chris Lauzon - Therapist, LICSW

When people walk into a therapy room, it’s often in response to something urgent, an emotional crisis, a relationship breakdown, burnout, or a significant drop in their overall functioning. It’s natural. Pain is a powerful motivator. But while we spend so much time focusing on how to tread water when we’re drowning, we often forget that true, sustainable growth happens not during the chaos, but during the calm. Let’s call that calm your baseline.

Let’s talk about the very fine line between “loving someone well” and “loving someone out of fear.” It’s a line that gets crossed more often than we realize, sometimes in the name of care, sometimes in the name of connection, and often without us noticing until tension begins to rise or space becomes scarce. If you’ve ever felt smothered in a relationship, or just as importantly, recognized you might be the one doing the smothering—you’re not alone. And it’s worth unpacking.

Somewhere along the road of growing up, many of us absorbed a lie: that life is a pass or fail test. You're either doing it right, or you're doing it wrong. Success or failure. Approval or rejection. We internalize this binary thinking early—at home, at school, in relationships—and it follows us quietly into adulthood like a shadow. But the truth is: real life happens in the gray. And that’s where the grace is.

When we think about conflict in relationships, we often imagine explosive arguments or long-standing feuds. But what can be just as damaging (though far more subtle) is conflict avoidance. That creeping tension that builds up when couples sidestep tough conversations, suppress small annoyances, or habitually say “I don’t care” to avoid disagreement. Over time, this kind of emotional evasion can erode connection, breed resentment, and spark fights over seemingly trivial things