Blog for
Chris Lauzon - Therapist, LICSW

We are often encouraged to “take the wheel,” to lead, to be independent, to trust no one but ourselves. There is wisdom in that message, especially if your history includes trauma and loss, disappointment, betrayal, or the painful realization that not everyone who offered directions had your destination in mind. But, there is another truth that deserves equal space, it is sometimes OK to be a passenger.

I’ve long held the opinion that when someone adds, “just kidding” or “just joking” after a comment, there is often some percentage of truth tucked within it. Not always, of course sometimes humor is just humor, play is just play. But many times, I’d estimate there’s about 40% truth living behind the curtain of the joke. Humor can be a safe doorway, a way to say something honest without risking full vulnerability. But it can also be a mask that bruises others.

Let’s talk about the very fine line between “loving someone well” and “loving someone out of fear.” It’s a line that gets crossed more often than we realize, sometimes in the name of care, sometimes in the name of connection, and often without us noticing until tension begins to rise or space becomes scarce. If you’ve ever felt smothered in a relationship, or just as importantly, recognized you might be the one doing the smothering—you’re not alone. And it’s worth unpacking.