Blog for
Chris Lauzon - Therapist, LICSW

One of the more common requests I hear as a therapist sounds something like this: "Can you hold me accountable?" At face value, it makes perfect sense. If someone is struggling with motivation, consistency, follow-through, or personal growth, it seems reasonable to want another person to help keep them on track. The challenge is that therapy and accountability coaching are not always the same thing.

Old Mental Muscle once served an important purpose. It helped us navigate difficult family challenges, relationships, environments, expectations, disappointments, life transitions, and fears. It became efficient because it was practiced so often. From both a clinical perspective and a neurological one, these patterns become deeply familiar neural pathways; the brain’s preferred route. The path of least resistance. Imagine this Old Mental Muscle as a massive six-lane highway

We are often encouraged to “take the wheel,” to lead, to be independent, to trust no one but ourselves. There is wisdom in that message, especially if your history includes trauma and loss, disappointment, betrayal, or the painful realization that not everyone who offered directions had your destination in mind. But, there is another truth that deserves equal space, it is sometimes OK to be a passenger.

Most individuals are taught that growth should be decisive, consistent, and flawless; if a person is going to change, they should do it “all the way,” if they are going to care for themselves, they should “do it right,” and, if they are going to meet their needs, they should do it “always.” YET, that very mindset often becomes the thing that keeps us stuck. If you’re in a mindset of exploring your needs, especially after stress, loss, burnout, or transition, I want to gently

Imagine standing on the stage of your own mind, and a voice calls out: “Let’s make a deal!” Here’s the offer: You commit to staying 80% in the present, and only 20% in the past or future. Not as a punishment. Not as a restriction. But as a gift to your present self, the only “you” that can act, change, breathe, and respond. Let’s break this deal down.