Let’s Make A Deal, 80/20; Present/Future & Past

Imagine standing on the stage of your own mind, and a voice calls out:

“Let’s make a deal!”

Here’s the offer: You commit to staying 80% in the present, and only 20% in the past or future. Not as a punishment. Not as a restriction. But as a gift to your present self, the only “you” that can act, change, breathe, and respond.

Let’s break this deal down.

The Temptation of Mental Time Travel

Let’s be honest, most of us spend far more than 20% of our mental energy thinking about what already happened or what might be coming. We ruminate on the past, replay old mistakes, or anticipate future stressors that haven’t even happened. And when we do that, we become mentally hijacked.

We lose access to what’s happening right now, the only place where learning, connection, and real growth occur.

But if you’ve developed your Tool of Self Awareness, you already have what you need to take the deal.

The 80/20 Deal

This isn’t about ignoring your past or pretending the future doesn’t matter.

It’s about allocating your attention wisely:

• 80% Present: Grounded in what’s in front of you. Responsive, engaged, and alive in the now.

• 20% Past & Future: Reflective, planning, integrating, on your terms, not on autopilot!

  
  

The goal here is intentionality, not perfection.

Meet the Old Mental Muscle & The Passengers

When you try to stay in the present, don’t be surprised when you feel pulled back into old habits. That’s your Old Mental Muscle — the well-worn, unconscious patterns that try to take over and “run the show.”

Or maybe it's your “Passengers,” those internal voices or narratives (doubt, fear, criticism, traumas) that get loud when you try to shift toward a healthier way of being.

This is where Notating comes in.

When you Notate, you label what’s showing up (See Blog Post “10/15-2”):

I recommend keeping Notating as simple as possible, more about the “When” than the “What,” and little or none about the “Why”. These examples will suffice:

• “That’s my old mental muscle jumping in.”

• “That’s fear trying to take the wheel.”

• “That’s the future pulling my focus when I’m trying to stay here.”

  
  

When you Notate, you take back control over when you use your mental bandwidth for processing. If it isn’t emergent, then it isn’t urgent!

Making the Deal = Making the Commitment

When you commit to this 80/20 deal, you're making more than just a mental agreement, you’re making a self-honoring decision.

You're saying:

“I will be more present in my own life. I will not allow the past or the future to rob me of today.”

Ironically, this is what allows you to better cope with the past and more effectively plan for the future, because you’re doing it with clarity and choice, not urgency or reactivity.

The Challenge: Try the Deal for One Week

Here’s your invitation:

• Each morning, remind yourself of the deal: 80% present, 20% past/future.

• Throughout the day, use your Tool of Self Awareness to scan how you're spending your mental bandwidth.

• When Old Mental Muscle or Passengers show up, Notate them. Don't resist, just Notate and re-center.

• At night, process what you notate.

  
  

Let this be an experiment — not a test.

Closing Thought

This is your deal. No flashy prizes, no dramatic music. Just a more anchored, empowered version of you, fully engaged with the only place you’ve ever truly been: right here, right now.

Let’s make a deal; with yourself, for yourself.

Chris Lauzon, LICSW

Therapist

Boston, Massachusetts