Get To Know "Expectation & Obligation"

Recognize Expectation & Obligation

The movie line (now cliche) “nobody puts baby in the corner” speaks volumes when I consider the all-so-common communication challenges associated with being caught off-guard, or catching others off-guard. What is the cost of being caught off-guard or catching another person off-guard? 

If seeking to have your needs met, you desire change, want to be heard, or you long to connect with someone, is there a better way than forced communication? Before we can implement tools of communication, we must first learn to recognize when we are caught off-guard, or when we are about to “put baby in the corner;” I refer to this as Expectation & Obligation.  

Whether in partnership, friendship, family relations, or the professional environment, in my practice it is commonplace to hear of conflict due to ill-planned and/or reactionary communication methods. For the purpose of one’s own growth, and the development and implementation of new tools, it is valuable to recognize these moments utilizing what I call the Tool of Self Awareness.

When individuals are caught off guard, feeling back into a corner, they are very unlikely to actively listen or participate with sincerity. When experiencing these occurrences, being caught off guard or back into a corner, we are Expected to Acknowledge (and listen) and Obligated to Respond.

Keep this in mind, as it will be valuable in your growth; we have all experienced both receiving and presenting Expectation & Obligation. Let’s be aware together and remove the conflict.

Chris Lauzon, LICSW

Therapist

Boston, Massachusetts