The Value of Vulnerability: Beyond The Fear

Vulnerability Matters: Feel Its Value

In my work as a therapist, I often describe our Tool of Self Awareness as one of the most powerful tools in our emotional toolkit. It’s the flashlight we shine inward to identify what’s truly going on inside us—our needs, our desires, our feelings, and our emotional patterns. But becoming aware is only half the journey. The other half—perhaps the more courageous part—is learning how to share what we discover with others. That’s where there is value in vulnerability.

Why Vulnerability Matters

Vulnerability is often misunderstood. Many people associate it with weakness or exposure. But in truth, vulnerability is strength. It’s the decision to show up honestly, even when there’s a risk of being misunderstood, rejected, or hurt (which our Old Mental Muscle wants to protect us from). When we communicate from a place of vulnerability, we are offering our real selves, not the polished, protected versions we think others want to see.

When paired with self-awareness, vulnerability becomes a bridge between inner truth and relational connection. It allows us to say things like:

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed and I need some support.”

• “I really want to feel closer to you, but I’m afraid of being hurt.”

• “I’ve realized I’ve been avoiding this conversation because I’m scared you won’t understand.”

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These aren’t easy words to say. But they are honest, and that honesty invites intimacy, trust, and clarity.

The Role of the Tool of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the inner compass that helps us understand our emotional landscape. But it’s not meant to live in isolation. Once we’ve identified what we feel or need, the next step is expression. The Tool of Self-Awareness gives us the “what,” notation and processing (10-15/2) gives us the “why,” and vulnerability in communication often gives us the “how” (New Mental Muscle).

Without vulnerability, our self-awareness can become a private echo chamber. We may know our truth, but if we’re unable or unwilling to express it, we deprive others, and ourselves, of the connection and understanding that can come from sharing.

Common Barriers to Vulnerability

Many of us were taught, directly or indirectly, that emotions should be kept private, that needing others is a sign of weakness, or that expressing desire is selfish. These beliefs can keep us silent, even when our inner world is screaming for expression. Our unique histories are full of “Passengers” in our “Vehicle of Life,” some of which continue to model for us, methods of communication and operating that are more cost to us in the present, than benefit based upon what we wish for our future. 

Recognize the fear of what is on the other side of vulnerability, and grow.

Chris Lauzon, LICSW

Therapist

Boston, Massachusetts