Blog for
Chris Lauzon - Therapist, LICSW

When we think about conflict in relationships, we often imagine explosive arguments or long-standing feuds. But what can be just as damaging (though far more subtle) is conflict avoidance. That creeping tension that builds up when couples sidestep tough conversations, suppress small annoyances, or habitually say “I don’t care” to avoid disagreement. Over time, this kind of emotional evasion can erode connection, breed resentment, and spark fights over seemingly trivial things

In my work as a therapist, I often describe our Tool of Self Awareness as one of the most powerful tools in our emotional toolkit. It’s the flashlight we shine inward to identify what’s truly going on inside us—our needs, our desires, our feelings, and our emotional patterns. But becoming aware is only half the journey. The other half—perhaps the more courageous part—is learning how to share what we discover with others. That’s where there is value in vulnerability.

There’s a significant difference between acting confident and with a persona and genuinely feeling confident. Often, we’re taught to “fake it ‘til you make it,” adopting a confident persona in the hope that the feeling will eventually follow. While this method can be a helpful starting point, it can also create a disconnect between our outward behavior and inner emotional state.

As we explore the presence or potential presence for “Expectation and Obligation” in our lives, use the Tool of Invitation.

When we remain silent regarding our needs, in this case how we best learn, we present risk for Judgement of Self & External Conflict.